Temporarily Misplaced

Yea, I have lost my kid… temporarily. He always turns up.

You see… The kids in this house are like mice; they infest the place. You see one running through and disappear into the other room, then two more come scampering through the kitchen. One minute they are there and the next they’re not. You only know that they were there by the trail of toys left in their wake. There are just so many I sometimes have a hard time keeping track of them all. But my little mouse, Collin, scared the crap out of me the other night.

I was outside after supper taking a break (a.k.a. trying to hide out) and here comes Collin out the door. He hops on his motorcycle and starts riding up and down the sidewalk. I notice the smear of ketchup still on his cheek from supper and wonder if he ever did eat his dinner. He was messing around so much at the dinner time I thought he might be at the table half the night finishing supper.

“Did you finish your dinner?” I asked him, kind of little irritated he found me. I need to find better hiding spots.

“Ummmm…yea?” he said. So I knew he didn’t.

“Did your dad say you could be done?”

“Ummm…yep?” he said.

I didn’t believe him. When I went inside he was still riding his bike. I looked at his plate lying on the dining room table. <Humongous sigh>  He barely ate any of his hamburger and maybe two bites of his green beans. I asked B if he said he could be done and he said he didn’t tell him that. “Well, you better go get him to finish his dinner because he said you told him he could be done.” (Nice way to pass this task off, huh? This is just my way of trying to get a break and sharing this wonderful job with his good ol’ dad. I’m tired and it just seems things are never-ending lately).

B called his name. No answer. I told him he was out in the backyard. He went to hunt him down and I started working on the after dinner disaster, a little surprised and tremendously relieved that I was actually getting some help in at least one area.

B came back in, “He’s not out there.”

Hmmmm…I didn’t see him come back in. I don’t know. Maybe he snuck by and is watching tv upstairs or something. After B did the initial sweep of the house and he didn’t turn up I decided to help look.

We SEARCHED everywhere and called his name. Garage. Upstairs. Under beds. He couldn’t have gone anywhere, I kept thinking and repeating it to myself over and over again. I mean, this place is like a maximum security prison. He couldn’t have gotten out the back because of the garage door. He couldn’t have left the yard because we have a high privacy fence, even though it wouldn’t surprise me if he scaled it to escape, I mean- he is Collin, a kid who can climb walls with his bare toes and has been doing it ever since he was able to stand. But the fence thing…possible, but unlikely. It is pretty tall.

I kept one eye on B and checked in the opposite places he was looking. He was looking a little amused. I was starting to panic. You know, that mom thing. I was starting to get frantic. My stomach was starting to get all fluttery. I kind of felt like I might cry. Rationally, I knew he had to be there somewhere. I mean, what the hell?! A kid can’t just disappear in his own house within two minutes…but he is Collin (the kid who is inevitably going to give me gray hair). The front door was latched (and he can’t reach that) so he couldn’t have snuck out the front… so where could he be? I made all the kids stop what they were doing to help us look.

The Collin search was on.

This felt like it went on forever (I was kind of scared)…but in reality probably lasted five minutes at most. I was standing on our enclosed front porch scanning the sidewalks…paranoid. If I didn’t find him soon I was sure I WAS GOING TO FREAK OUT!!!

I took some deep breaths and calmed myself down. “Collin!” I yelled. “Do you want a snack?”

His little blonde head popped out between the couch and box of books on the front porch, a little sweaty but smiling and all happy. “YES, MOMMY! I want candy,” he said.

Duh! Why didn’t I do that sooner?! Would have helped my nerves. Every mom knows to bribe their kid with candy or toys when desperate. It’s like the cheese in the mouse trap for the darn little rodents.

And then I yelled (I hate it when I yell), “Don’t ever do that again! You scared me! Now go eat your dinner.” I wasn’t giving him any candy.

B was like…it wasn’t that big of deal. Calm down. Grrrr…it sometimes seems like dads are so much calmer when it comes to disaster, or “possible” disaster. Whatever. I’m blaming it on the mom hormones.

But I heard B say to Collin while he was nibbling on his hamburger (and the little mouse was looking very pleased with himself), “Collin, don’t hide unless you tell somebody you’re hiding.”

“Okay, Dad,” he said.

It was simple and it was done. No big deal…for them.

I really need a break…because normally I would find the humor in the situation, at least I would after I found him…but not so much that night.

Have you “temporarily misplaced” (a.k.a. lost your kid) lately?

p.s. Man, that fear just really scared me, put things in perspective.

Talking to Baseball Bats

He stands on the sidewalk, which is serving as home plate, and I watch him swing and then run as fast as he can around the imaginary bases. Sometimes he counts, “Strike one. Strike two.” But he never strikes himself out, occasionally he gets a home run. 

He has four bats lined up behind him in which he takes turns using each one when he is up to bat. Two plastic skinny black ones, one with white tape all over the handle for a grip, a blue whiffle ball bat, and a wooden Louisville Slugger. Poor thing has no balls to hit because at the beginning of the summer he either hit them over the fence and they got lost, the dogs ate them, or they are buried in the waist-high weeds that was our garden last summer.

I watch him examine the wooden bat. Then he whispers something to it.

“What are you doing?” I ask him.

“Playing baseball.” I guess that was a silly question.

“Are you talking to the bat?”

“Yea, Mom.” Like I should know this.

I would be worried…and maybe I should be. But then I remember that he has been watching “Everyone’s Hero” the last several days (he would watch that movie all day if he could) and there is a talking bat named Darling in it.

Oh, how this just makes me smile. I think I need more imagination.

I sit on the back cement steps watching the boys play and I’m getting kind of chilly. I should put a shirt on Collin.

But then my sweet Collin takes off. He runs with his stubby little bare feet over to steal a bat from Bradley’s collection. He manages to swipe the blue one, but is not happy and wants another one. He is just not quick enough. Bradley kneels over on his last three bats on the cold grass and holds on tight. “No, Collin! You got one. Leave me alone!” he wails.

I distract him. So Collin puts on Bradley’s old Napoleon Dynamite boots, which go above his knees, and saunters out to the swing set. He is quite a site with no shirt, no hair, Bradley’s old shorts on him that go past his knees as he stumbles through the grass with winter boots.

I think he takes after me in the fashion department. 😉

xxx

Just Write

I like to do a writing exercise that I call “Listening and Watching.” I usually do this type of writing when I am tired and really don’t feel like doing anything. This gets my creative muscles working and warmed up. It is very different from my other posts, but it something that I enjoy doing for myself. It is a little break. I just sit and write…and write. I don’t worry as much about the content as to just write. Sometimes it paints a picture of my surroundings at a certain moment in time. Other times I just ramble on and on and on and on…

It may be very mundane and boring. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. And I will never know if you read it anyway, so go ahead and skip to the next post, I will never know. Sometimes I just need to write…with nothing in particular in mind. Helps keep me limber for the other days.

I decided to move to a different cushion of the couch. I have been sitting in the same spot on the couch almost everyday since the babies have been born that I think it is getting my butt indentation permanently cemented into it, seriously. I see where it is sunken in and the suede material is loose around that spot. I don’t think I have ever broken in a couch. Normally I am up and about and rarely sit still, but I do have two babies to feed. It is like I have set up camp. I put my little computer/notebook on the arm of the couch, my glass of hot tea on the window ledge behind it, and the play pen where the girls sleep is in arms reach. Everything I need is a fingertip away…or I just call Collin. He loves to pick things up.

But right now I moved over to a different cushion. It is a much firmer cushion and I am now resolved to switch my seats around, at least for the couch’s sake. It also gives me a different view of the house. Right now my back is resting against a big pillow and I am staring down at my purple toenails. I love purple toenails…and blue. Brad is sitting on the large footrest. He has a big number two on the back of his t-shirt. He is leaning forward and into his video game, elbows resting on his knees. If he leaned in any further he might just fall into the game, I’m sure he would love that.

The babies are starting to get colds, their first ones. I have been up with them all night. All day I have been walking around like a lost mummy wrapped loosely in toilet paper for Halloween. At least tissue is handy to wipe all the snotty noses around here.

Last night the wind smacked the windows all night and the cold air seeped in, whispering and murmuring, keeping me up all night. My mind swept the items in the backyard; soccer net, heavy plastic slide, wagon, maybe a few plastic bats were also left out, but nothing major that would blow away.

The wind is rattling the panes again tonight. I’m putting the afghan that my granny made me on my bed and will burrow into a crocheted cocoon, at least for a couple of hours until one of the babies cries.

Good night.

xxx

A Snippet of Listening and Watching

Today was such a busy day. I am tired and ready for bed, so tonight will be a super short post.

I can’t remember the last time that I got 6 hours of sleep in a row. I usually do during the weekend because Brad is home, but not for the last couple of weekends because we have had so many plans. So I am ready to hold my breath and tip toe these babies to bed. Hope they stay asleep because I am soooo ready for bed!

I am sitting here listening. Listening to the thunder. Listening to the weather on the nine o’clock news. Listening to Bradley whine because he needs to go to bed. Listening to Brad grumble and tell Bradley to knock it off. Listening to my fingers click, click, clicking away as I type. Listening to Collin breath as he sleeps and Bradley yawns. There is more thunder.

I am watching the boys all snuggled and piled into the recliner watching tv. I am watching Elsie sleep in her swing and Mallie is to the right of me swaddled in a Care Bears blanket. I am watching Murphy sleep in the kid’s chair, I hear him sigh. I am watching Bradley give his dad a good night kiss. Here he comes…I get my hug and steal my kiss.

I hear more thunder and see raindrops or sleet, can’t tell which, sprinkling the window. The lightning strikes the winter sky in a blinding white that is just brilliant against the dark snow- covered fir trees (or pine trees, not sure). My hot Chai is sitting on the window ledge next to me. I am ready to guzzle the rest down and snuggle in bed with my Kindle and read until I fall asleep.

Good night.

xxx