Zombie Bats and Flying Fish

The cool shower sprinkled over my sun burnt shoulders and down my back. I washed all of the day’s dirt and grime off of me; sunscreen, sweat, bug spray, sand, and lake water. It’s times like these when you really appreciate a shower, even if you have to pay twenty-five cents for the 6 minutes of heaven.

I gathered my belonging and loaded Collin in the stroller. It wasn’t dark when we got to the shower house, but it was pitch black as we headed out the door. I waited a second for my eyes to adjust. The moon was bright and white as a ghost, hanging in the sky three-quarters full and peeking at us through trees. “Okay, Collin. Here we go. I wish your stroller had headlights because Mommy forgot a flashlight.”

It’s times like these when I wish my imagination was not so vivid. I can make a story out of thin air and conjecture ghosts and spirits from the trees. The bugs were chirping and the frogs were honking. “Uh, oh,” Collin said. “It’s just the bugs, baby,” I told him, even though I have no clue what he was talking about.

As we descended down the dark hill I tried to make out any potholes or large rocks. Of course, I hit one. Good things strollers have seatbelts; otherwise Collin would have been sailing through the air. “Sorry, baby.”

“If I stick to the right hand side, Collin, I think we can stay on the road. It’s easier to see here. You keep your eye out for raccoons or skunks. We especially don’t want to run into the skunks.” Not that I have seen any, I just like to talk.

The lake was to our left and an owl hooted from somewhere up above. My mind started to wander. What if something happened to the water supply and it drove everyone mad? What if it started to melt the skin from their bodies and they turned into zombies? What if they started appearing out from the RV’s, coming to attack us? Could I get this stroller to roll like it had a Hemi?

What if the animals turned into zombie dogs, zombie raccoons, and there were zombie bats tearing down from trees trying to bite my ears? Fur and fins melting from their bodies, leaving a gooey trail behind them.

What if all of the scary movie villains came together to camp, and decided it was this day, at this campground, that they would hold their pow-wow? Would Freddy, Jason, Michael, and the long face guy from Scream come chasing us from one of the tents? I can just picture Freddy roasting marshmallows on his razor fingers and Jason doing front flips off the dock in the lake. The long faced guy from Scream hiding out in the port-a-potties because he ate too many hotdogs.

We were approaching the arcade. The beach sat behind it, lonely and moaning. I looked out at the water; I looked for a Pine Lakes Loch Ness Monster.  “Half way home, Collin.” I checked to see if he was asleep yet. But no, he sat there like a baby zombie, crystal blue eyes staring straight ahead. Music seeped through the screens of the arcade. I sure hope no zombie kids come running out of the arcade to chew on my ankles. Not to worry, we made it past.

It really wasn’t a scary walk. I knew my way back, it wasn’t that long of a walk. But the humidity clouded my brain and the fresh air invited it to wander through the crazy mazes of make-believe tales. I chuckled to myself; if I can do anything well, it is definitely entertaining myself. I probably should not have drunk that last Mt. Chill, the caffeine was buzzing me along with the mosquitoes and flies.

What if the mosquitoes had some sort of virus, and everyone they bit infected them? The virus would make them crave blood, also. If you were bit, your nose would grow longer and needle like, so you could puncture the skin of your victims for your nightly snack. Forget the s’mores. And the only way to kill your fellow mosquito vampire campers was to smash them really hard, like you do a mosquito…and it would leave a bloody mark on your skin.  

What if someone dumped something into the water and the fish started to fly and the frogs were like Michael Phelps out of water? Slimy flippers and fins smacking your face and getting tangled in your hair. Piranha like teeth dangling from your ear, like a new fashion statement.

It seems silly now, but I assure you it wasn’t when we were walking home in the dark. And no, I did not tell Collin my scary stories…I will wait until he is older. 😉

We rounded the corner and I could see our campfire. I could hear Bradley’s silly laugh cackling along with the crackling fire.

Sleep tight.