Oh, the crazy things kids say…

Oh, the crazy things kids say…

We were watching “Fear Factor” this evening and Bradley was ready for bed in his pajamas, which I guess consisted of shorts and no shirt tonight. He comes up to me with an embarrassed grin and asks, “Mom, what are these called?” pointing to his nipple.

Where the hell did this come from all of a sudden?!  

Maybe because there was a swimming part on “Fear Factor” with guys and big muscles. That’s what I’m guessing anyway.

I am so unprepared but I answer anyway. “It is called a nipple.”

He giggles and covers his mouth like he is going to tell me a secret and asks, “What are they for?”

I’m alarmed. Caught off guard. I’m not really sure what to say. I am very unprepared. And I also just want to laugh my ass off, but I don’t.

So I tell him, “They don’t do anything.” At least his don’t anyway, I think to myself and just keep the laughter in my head.

“Do they help you get muscles?” he asks with a large smile, like he knows the truth and I am not telling him or something. “They make muscles, don’t they, Mom?”

Oh. I just can’t help but laugh a little.

“No. But if you exercise, eat healthy foods, and drink your milk you get muscles there.”

Oh! The things kids say…

What kind of crazy questions have your kids asked that caught you off guard? And how did you answer? I bet there are some funny stories.


Leave a Light on for Me

I don’t know why we were talking about lightbulbs, but we were because somehow the conversation led us that way. And every time I change a lightbulb, or see one that is out, I think of Donna. It’s just one of those weird things.

“I still haven’t had to change the lightbulb at the top of my steps,” Donna said. “Roger (her husband who passed away in the house) must be looking out for me. He knows I could never reach it.” Donna is as short as me, which means just about 5 foot tall. Shhh. Don’t laugh at us short people.

“I still can’t believe it hasn’t gone out. How long has it been now?” I ask. But yes, I do believe her.

“Twelve years.” 

“You know, that is crazy. Nobody would believe you if you told them,” I add.

“I know. But I haven’t ever had to change that lightbulb. I don’t know how I  even would if it went out. It is right at the top of the steps at the highest part of the house. Even if I put a ladder there I wouldn’t be able to reach it and I would be dangling over the stairs.”

“I just can’t see a lightbulb lasting that long. But your house is weird anyways,” I tell her.

She has told me so many stories, I think her house is haunted…or has visitors you just can’t see. Lights flickering when the grandchildren are around and many other strange tales. Her aunt and grandmother passed away in the house, too. Maybe she just has a lot of guardian angels.

But who in the heck has ever had a lightbulb last 12 YEARS?!?! That is nuts.