Lets Move to China and Chicken Nuggets

“Mom, lets move to China so I can learn Kung Fu.” This has been Bradley’s request several times a week since he watched Karate Kid. He is obsessed with it, often times yelling for Mr. Hahn, our little joke.

He practices his moves everyday. He jabs, punches, and kicks invisible opponents across the living room floor. He finishes with a spin kick and a touchdown. It looks like a cross between karate, breakdancing, and football. I tell him he is going to have to go to his room or outside to practice his “karate” moves, there are too many babies in the living room and I am trying to finish folding the laundry. “O.kay, Mom,” he says. “But I want a hooker for the backyard.”

I stop in mid-fold. What did he say? I tried not to look too surprised or shocked…I think the more precise word is baffled. What is he talking about?! “You need a what?” I ask cautiously.

“A HOOKER for the backyard. You know!”

“A hooker,” I say. I want to crack up laughing, but I’m also very curious on what in the world he is meaning. So I stifle my giggles and wipe the amusement off my face. “I don’t understand what you mean. Can you show it to me?”

“MOM. Like on Karate Kid. In Mr. Hahn’s yard. He hangs his coat up and then takes it off. Pick it up. Put it on. Hang it up. You know that part.”

“OOOOhhhhh…” Now I understand. A coat rack.

So of course, I immediately text his dad at work: Guess what your son just asked for. A hooker for the backyard. What the hell have you been teaching him?! 

Now, our other boy…he is using chicken nuggets as phones. I was pacing the floor as I was talking and I look down, Collin is following me with a chicken nugget to his ear and babbling. He pauses, takes a bite from it, and then puts it back to his ear to continue talking.

All in the day of children…you just never know what to expect.


Check out my little karate monster’s moves in the video below.